Nasty, Brutish & Short

« Previous · Home · Next »

Membership has no privileges?

May 12, 2006 03:26 PM

NBS doesn't know where to begin when it comes to The Continental Lounge, the "members only" club for young professional types that opened up last year across the river.  It has been the source of so many jokes and such derision among it's targeted demographic (of which NBS is a part), that it is hard to know where to start.  So let's begin with the Welcome message on the Club's website, which was first brought to NBS's attention by another member of the Club's targeted demo, who is a well-known figure on the city's social scene, and who said to NBS, "you have GOT to read what they say on their website."  It says:

The caliber of a club reflects the fiber of the people who compose it.  The Continental Lounge chooses members not only for their wealth, social rank, or honor, but also for their personal worth and character. Only the men and women who dare to be unique - unique in their vision, ideals, and principles, have been selected. In the future, we will continue our selective growth and further gain a higher position of power - not by luck or lowered standards - but by detailed planning, devoted service, and inspired leadership. This is the pioneering spirit of The Continental Lounge.

Okay.  This is just wrong on so many levels, and NBS says this as someone who (and you'll just have to take his word for this) knows.  The main problem with it is this: People with class do not speak like this.  There is no other private club in this City (or a reputable one, anywhere else) that would broadcast such a statement on its website.  People with class know all about social position, power, social rank and privilege.  But they never, ever, talk about it.  No one well-healed would ever use the words "social" and "rank" together in a sentence.  Instead, one would say something like, "Oh of course I know her.  Her grandmother was my grandmother's roommate at Vassar."

So there are certain buzzwords, but you only drag them out when you have reason to believe that the other person will be similarly clued in, and you never do it to hurt someone's feelings.  Unless it is someone who needs to be put in their place, as the members of The Continental Lounge so clearly do. 

What the The Continental Lounge's word choice indicates is that its founders are completely clueless about the world they are so desperate to be a part of.  It's like a 8-year old t-ball player dreaming he's on the field with the Yankees, and invisioning a world that is absolutely nothing like its real-life version.  

So why bring all this up today?

Well, today comes the delicious news that economic reality has set in at The Continental Lounge.  A year ago, they were offering memberships (at the rate of $2,500 for Class A or $1,500 for Class B (again, no real Club would ever set up a two-tiered structure like that, it would be offensive and rude to suggest that some members are not as good as others)) and making promises.  One of the main perks of membership was the private dining room.  But not any more.  Starting Friday, the restaurant has a new name, and will be open to (gasp!) non-members.  But hey, members can still eat there. 

So it's not like the $2,500 you put down was wasted!

Hat tip to Cincinnati Blog.