Nasty, Brutish & Short

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Oh LeBron. Oh LeBron. Yes, LeBron. Yes. Yes. YES!

May 19, 2006 01:58 PM

We here at NBS couldn't help but read Paul Daugherty's sports column in this morning's Enquirer without wondering: How uncomfortable has this made Tom Brinkman?  Because oh my, Paul.  We know you sports writers have a little bit more latitude to flex that creative muscle.  But really.  This is a family paper!

Paul begins:

"How composed he is. How spectacularly cool at age 21, a young man's body guided by an old man's head and a true man's heart, sidestepping hype and headed for glory, with an ease that suggests he has done it all before."

Translation: He's like a virgin.  But for the very first time!  And what's with the phrase, "a young man's body guided by an old man's head"?  Steamy!

Paul continues:

"Truth: Are you like me, a confirmed NBA-phobe, now taking long, guilty sips from the well of LeBron? . . . [S]o help me, I'm watching Cleveland-Detroit like it's the finals of "American Idol." Even if it is with the lights out and the shades drawn.

It's LeBron. LeBron is a reason to fall in love again."

Long guilty sips?  From the well of LeBron?  From a once-confirmed -phobe?  American Idol?  With the lights out?  And he is your reason to fall in love again!  Paul!  Does Mrs. Dougherty know about this?

Paul concludes:

Then along comes LeBron, to reposition my perspective. So young, so gifted, so pleasantly together. So much like Magic and Doc. The Cavs can topple the Pistons from their throne tonight. I just might watch.

Cavs.  Pistons.  Repositioning.  Watching.  We don't know what else to say, Paul, other than we strongly suggest you don't try to adopt in the State of Ohio.