Nasty, Brutish & Short

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The New Look for Fall...

November 10, 2006 04:57 PM

... is really, really bad writing.  Which you can get aplenty, over at  They even have a Mission Statement, (e.g. "to promote and accelerate fashion awareness in Cincinnati"), which is hysterical.  Fashion Awareness?  Hey you!  Be more fashion aware.

And besides, didn't "Mission Statements" go out of style in 1995?  Who has a Mission Statement anymore?

NBS just discovered they have added a few guys to their stable of writers.  Check out Michael Altman's "September Editorial."  The lede graph,

Trading a Reds tee-shirt for a Bengals’ jersey doesn’t cut it for fall fashion anymore in Cincinnati. As boutique clothing stores increasingly pop up around the city and suburbs, the message is clear: the Cincinnati man is fashionable and here to stay.

Well, that's certainly a relief.  Fashionable and here to stay!

This fall will feature the return of the suit vest as the center piece, top Cincinnati male fashion enthusiasts are saying.

Cringe, cringe, cringe.  Top Cincinnati male fashion enthusiasts?  Let's not combine the word "top" with "male fashion enthusiasts," please.  And, whenever a writer attributes something to what unidentified people "are saying," it kind of means that the writer just read it somewhere on the internet, and never actually asked anyone.

But back to the suit vest,

Along with it are coming a few changes that will let a man express himself at dinner, at the office, at the lunch meeting, and on the weekend.

Or while ordering a pretentious drink at Starbucks.  Express yourself!  Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Read the whole thing.  It's worth it just for the hideous spelling: "Dolche & Gabonna."  Is that like a knock off version of the Italian original, but made in Gabon for a lot, lot less?

But the worst part, by far, is the penultimate paragraph:

The story for the fall: a vest, some cool pants and a solid shirt will be key with your leather man-bag.

No one should ever write the words "leather man bag."  Nor should a man ever carry one. 

But those basics may prove too difficult, either in writing, or in life, because we are urged,

Don’t think too hard.  Have fun.

Don't think too hard.  Have Fun?  Shoddy thinking like that can only lead to leather man bags!


I think it's hilarious that someone can be employed as a fashion writer/expert when he spells "Dolce & Gabbana" the way he did. Obviously the qualifying criteria for that job were minimal.

English teacher   ·  November 12, 2006 08:25 PM