Nasty, Brutish & Short

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What to do about a blogging video store clerk?

January 14, 2007 10:03 PM

Because one in the D.C. area blogged about Tucker Carlson coming in to rent a movie:

Tucker Carlson opened an account last night at my video store. I thought the name seemed familiar but I couldn't figure out why. It was after he left that I realized he was on the list of Gigantic Cobagz [ed.  this is, apparently, a slang term for colostomy bag.  Who knew?] I could tell you what he and his ridiculously wasped-out female companion (wife?) rented if you really want to know. I won't tell you where he lives, though. That would be wrong and stupid...

Fast-forward to a week later, when Tucker was apparently googling himself (sounds dirty, doesn't it?), and discovered the post.  He was not pleased, and went back to the store for a tete-a-tete with the clerk.  And to make a long story short, the blogging clerk has now been fired.  And he wants us to feel sorry for him.  Tucker claims he didn't want the guy to get fired, he just wanted the post to be taken down.

So who's the victim, Tucker Carlson, or the video store clerk?  We're tempted to side with Tucker, and not the video store clerk for two reasons.  One, the clerk apparently thinks "ridiculously wasped-out female companion" is some sort of a slur.  In our mind, "wasped-out female companion" equals H-O-T.  And two, the name of the 28 year-old video clerk's blog is "Freelance Genius."  In all likelihood, he has a college degree he is not using it.  He's also got a chip on his shoulder about conservatives.  And he hates the wasp patriarchy.  So he's not, in fact, a genius, much less a freelance one.  He's just a loser giving out his opinions on the internet, and wondering why he has yet to be discovered.  "Pluck me from my video store obscurity," he says.  "I am a freelance genius!

So yeah.  Chalk us up on Tucker's side.


Now the "genius" can use his college education to get another job. Maybe he can go from video store clerk to asking "you want fries with that?"

largebill   ·  January 15, 2007 12:32 PM

You're sure that "wasped-out" isn't a reference to her figure?

Dr. Mabuse   ·  January 15, 2007 09:18 PM

1) Who the hell is Tucker Carlson?

2) WTF? First of all he was vain enough to google himself ? (yeah, I did it last week, so what?) And secondly he got someone fired just for mentioning him on their blog? WTF is this guy anyway?

3)Looked him up on Wikipedia. I see he's that little prick with the bow tie. Yeah, you would think WASP'd out means hot. I think WASP'd out means narrow minded, all my best friends are [insert race/nationality], I'm not prejudiced I just love Oprah white women who wouldn't know bigotry if they slapped someone in the face with it, which they often do.

I'm on the side of the clerk. This wasn't that serious and the employer and Carlson are both assholes.

ThatDeborahGirl   ·  January 15, 2007 10:31 PM

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