Perv on the Lunken Bike Path
April 19, 2007 04:09 PM
So Mrs. NBS calls in via cell phone, from an isolated part of the Lunken bike path to report that she has just been passed by a white male in his 30s, wearing white thigh high stockings, white boy shorts with a purple g-string overlay, a turquoise mesh top, and a black pleather hat. He was on roller skates.
It sounds suspiciously like that firefighter who was arrested recently for showing up at a park in a bikini with flesh colored balloons taped to his chest, I say. We wonder if he's still in jail, and I assure her that she's probably not this roller skater's type, and that even though she's in an isolated area with no one else around, she should be fine. Plus, Henry is with her. Secretly, of course, I wonder if I should call the cops. If one sees someone who's clearly pervy like that, but not actually exposing themselves, what should one do?
Anyway, we talk until he's skated some distance away. Five minutes later, Mrs. NBS calls back. We have a terrible connection, and I hear her excitedly saying "MR. NBS? MR. NBS?" (not, actually, what she calls me). Then the call gets dropped. Thanks a lot, Verizon!
So now I really am wondering if I should call the cops. Especially because Verizon seems incapable of putting a call through. Minutes pass. Really, how long does it take for a perv to skate off with one's wife? Time is of the essence in moments like that, VERIZON.
We reconnect. It turns out Mrs. NBS just wanted to be on the phone with someone, because she was about to pass the guy, who had stopped to lay down on a bench. His chosen position? On his back, still clothed, but business side up.
So basically we were dealing with someone who gets a tingly feeling by being noticed, and he wanted to put on a show. Mrs. NBS kept on walking, and ignored him. And of course, she made it back safely. But we're still wondering, what do you do in a situation like that? Do you call the cops? And if so, what do you report?