Nasty, Brutish & Short

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Do not order one of these through the mail

July 17, 2007 08:23 PM

So for Mrs. NBS's birthday, romantic charmer that I am, I got her workout equipment.  This is actually a little bit for me too, since it will presumably mean I don't have to not go to the gym anymore.  Now I'll be able to not workout from the comfort of my own home.

So we go shopping for an elliptical machine, and it's basically either buy something really expensive from that fancy place on Montgomery Road, or buy one made out of plastic and toothpicks from Dick's.  Nothing middle of the road.  So it was Costco to the rescue!  And, to make things even better, Costco has free shipping. 

Of course it arrived while I was at work, and the driver told Mrs. NBS that he couldn't bring it inside, because he's "not allowed to go inside."  He was just going to leave it on the porch, and I can tell you that if he had, that's where it would still be sitting.  Fortunately Mrs. NBS persuaded him to shove it inside the front door, which he did, blocking all access and egress.

This is what they sent us:


I don't know how much it weighs, but I can tell you it is unmovable.  We can slide it around on the floor, but I have no idea how to get it up the stairs to the NBS home gym (a.k.a. the corner of the bedroom currently occupied by a t.v. and my great-great-great grandmother's fainting couch).

So this evening, Mrs. NBS went off the l'hopital for work, and I spent an hour trying to get it upstairs.  I was thinking if I just got the corner of it on the bottom step, I could slide it around, get it all lined up, and eventually push it up the stairs.  Did not work.  The corner is too tight, and I could not even get one side of it lifted. 

So now I'm in a vicious circle: I can't get all buff and toned because the elliptical machine is still in the box, and I can't get it out of the box because I'm not all buffed and toned.

I think what I may do is take all of the pieces out of the box downstairs, and then carry them upstairs one part at a time.  But now I'm too tired, so I'm just going to take a picture of it and put it on my blog.


You need to move to a B&B diet (Beef and Barley (the juice of . . .)


Polite, Refined and Tall   ·  July 17, 2007 10:14 PM

You should write more of these personal anecdotes. Very funny!

Anonymous   ·  July 17, 2007 10:17 PM

I think your father-in-law ought to drive over and help carry that damn machine upstairs!

Butters   ·  July 18, 2007 04:41 PM