Nasty, Brutish & Short

January 2008 Archives

« Previous · Home · Next »

Well, they killed Louise, our escaped cow

January 30, 2008 09:17 AM

WHY WHY WHY DID LOUISE HAVE TO DIE?

Oh, because she weighed 1,150 pounds, and was headed for I-275.  I'm waiting for the uproar.  Why didn't they taze her?  Someone always asks that question.

Evidently, they did try a tranquilizer dart, but it didn't work. 

And apparently, she was a he.  Which I find amusing because the News 5 reporter who was covering this on Monday night was dressed entirely in bright red.  Someone in wardrobe at News 5 must have had it in for her. 

Some people also did not know that one of our commenters named her him Louise.  Here's the owner of Stehlin's Meats:

"We didn't give this steer a nickname," Stehlin said. "My grandfather always told us never to name the cattle. They're animals, not pets."

You know some people read that and were shocked to hear that food comes from animals, not grocery stores.  You know they were. 

Anyway, Louise, may you rest in peace.  Your candle burned out long before your legend ever did.

Louise

_____-2008

“The road to the White House goes through Florida, and the road to Florida goes through The Villages."

January 29, 2008 12:53 PM

So says an old fart quoted in this article, anyway. Mrs. NBS and I always laugh at the commercials for The Villages. It makes Florida--God's waiting room--look like a hellhole.

Sorry I can't find the commercial where they're all tap dancing. That one's a classic.

Hillary, Obama and Ted Kennedy at the State of the Union...

..and the photo that's an instant classic:

From the "good to know" department, helpful information for new parents, that's easy to understand

January 28, 2008 02:42 PM

And this one seems especially apt:

 

HT: Blake Fox, (and here are more helpful pictograms).

Here we go again. Cincinnati has another escaped cow.

Isn't this the third time this has happened in the past few years?

COLERAIN TWP. -- Police are searching for a 1000-pound black Angus cow that escaped this morning about 8:15 from a holding pen at Stehlin's Meat Packing Co. in Colerain Township.

It appears that a holding pen gate was inadvertently left open, according to the Hamilton County sheriff's office and Colerain Township police.

The cow is owned by the meat packing company. The cow was last seen near the intersection of Colerain Avenue and Dry Ridge Road.

Report any sightings of the cow to the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, 513-825-1500.

Run, Elsie, run!  Nothing brings Cincinnatians together like an escaped cow.

Evaluating the candidates' bumper stickers

January 27, 2008 08:16 AM

I've already said I can't imagine putting a Huckabee sticker on the back of my car.  That's mostly because it's such a hill-jack name, backed up by a hill-jack personality.  Graphic designers have a problem with the aesthetics, too:

Huckabee has the most inexplicable selection of typography and graphics, from the six floating stars to the white stripe seemingly stolen from the Coca-Cola logo. The overall effect is clutter. The main typeface, used to set the candidate's name, is very tightly spaced, or tightly tracked, as typographers like to say. Some letters, like kab, are actually touching each other. Then "Mike" is tucked in between the H and k as if "we almost forgot to tell you his first name." Setting FAITH. FAMILY. FREEDOM. in such a thin weak sans serif feels as if it was added as a committee compromise or an afterthought. The type is too light, too small, and does not have a real voice.

They're right.  It definitely has an "I've never done this before" kind of look to it.  Kind of like he stopped by a Minuteman Printing on the way home one afternoon and said, "Shirley, what can you come up with?"

At the opposite end of the extreme: John McCain.  I have my problems with him on the issues, but his campaign graphics are fantastic.  Mrs. NBS and I actually discussed this a few weeks ago, and when you have people actually discussing how much they like the bumper stickers for someone they're not going to vote for, it means the designers hit a home run.  Here's what the experts say:

McCain uses type that is a perfect compromise between a sans and a serif, what type geeks call a "flared sans." Not quite sans and not quite serif, sort of in between, moderate, not too far in either direction. The strokes have contrast between the thick and thin, creating the feeling that the ends are going to have cute little serifs, but they just flare out a little, not forming actual serifs but wanting to. The military star centered and shadowed is a not-so-subtle touch. And McCain just says "President," as if to say he's already been elected. Everything about this logo says you can buy a car from this man. From the perfectly centered star to the perfectly spaced type, the entire design looks like a high-end real estate company. McCain has done something no other candidate has done, he uses all blue, no red - not even a dash.

And the blue he uses is almost a black.  With the white star, it looks very, very crisp.  Lean.  Trim.  Fit.  Very "I'm more than Harrison Ford in Air Force One could ever even dream of being."

On the Democrat side, the graphic designers say the winner is Obama.  I'm actually not wild about his design.  Doesn't it look...too liberal?  John Edwards got the (supposed) working class mantra right with his simplistic "my shift ends at 1:00 a.m. and I'm pissed" look.  And Hillary's graphic?  Exactly like bumper stickers always look.  Boring.  What's she running for, state rep.?

Stimulus Package

January 24, 2008 05:02 PM

What I want to know is do we get extra money for the NBS baby even though she won't be born until March, but will be born before the checks start gettin' cut?

I wants to take our babymoney to the Argosy.

Yale Med Students Celebrate 35 Years of Roe v. Wade

January 23, 2008 09:22 AM

Thusly:

Evans and Rasha Khoury MED ’08, another member of Medical Students for Choice, who said she plans to become a gynecologist and expects to perform abortions, went on to describe one of the most common abortion procedures, manual vacuum aspiration, which “creates suction to evacuate pregnancy,” Evans said. The technique is a good option because the device involved is reusable and relatively cheap, she said.

“It’s not as scary as it seems. It’s just blood and mucus,” Khoury said, referring to the fetus remains in the device. She added, “You’ll be able to see arms and stuff, but still just miniscule.”

Evans and Khoury also explained the finer points of abortion-clinic etiquette, including some potentially sensitive terminology. Khoury said physicians performing abortions generally refer to the aborted fetus remains as “POC,” an acronym for “product of conception,” and refer to fetus’ hearts as “FH.”

The most complicated part of the procedure can be the emotional fallout some patients experience, she said.

“Often times, women are crying and cursing and saying they’re going to hell,” Khoury said. “It may be a quick and easy medical procedure, but it definitely is a very involved social-medical procedure.”

The presenters also urged the crowd to become involved in the abortion-rights movement by joining Reproductive Health Externships, a campaign in which volunteers are taught how to conduct abortions.

“It’s fun because you meet people from all over the country who do them,” Khoury said. “It’s pretty inspiring.”

So which is more disturbing, the quote about how you can see "arms and legs and stuff," or the guy who says "It's fun because you meet people from all over the country who do them.  It's pretty inspiring"?

UPDATE: Hmmm.  The article has been pulled from the website of the Yale Daily News.  I can't imagine why.

"The Groesbecks were another comely race."

January 22, 2008 10:05 PM

In the comments, Polite, Refined and Tall suggests that the video "Price Hill Girls" should be reason enough for me to visit the West Side.  And here's what that comment reminds me of, and that's this passage from The Serene Cincinnatians, which was published in 1950 as part of the "Society in America" series (if you haven't already, do check out The Spectacular San Franciscans, the authors of which must have had no idea of what was yet to come):

The Groesbecks were another comely race.  In mid-nineteenth century, the Misses Olivia Groesbeck and Sally Carneal were spoken of as the two most beautiful girls in Cincinnati.  A portrait of Olivia by Thomas Buchanan Read, in the home of a kinswoman in New York, confirms not only the fact of her beauty but of Read's fine ability as a painter.  She visited England once, and met the Duke of Wellington, evidently making a distinct impression upon that old connoisseur; for there is a legend that when, long afterward, he tasted some of Nicholas Longworth's wine, and praising it, asked where it came from, "Cincinnati!" he repeated.  "Ah, that is where Miss Groesbeck lives."

Back in my Bachelor days, I used to think this anecdote would make a great toast.  I would re-tell it, and then raise my glass to the beautiful young lady, and salute both her, and our fair city, saying, "To Cincinnati.  Where Miss Groesbeck lives."

But you know what?  We never had any Groesbecks as débutantes.  Much less any from there. 

I like them Price Hill Girls

HT: Nixguy

The Governator Calls Mitt Romney

Prank calls. Who doesn't love a good prank call?

Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't it be pretty easy to get Mitt's cell phone number off of this tape?

Bill Clinton Has a Dream on MLK Day

When I said I feared the NBS baby would be a Democrat, perhaps I misspoke.

January 18, 2008 11:35 PM

Though it is a pity Democrats would say it's child abuse to kick his ass.

Pop quiz. Sharon Stone's catsuit is __________.

Just right...

stonemorocco.jpg

Too tight?

Married people to get screwed under Democrats' ecomonic stimulus package

The White House wants tax rebates of $800 per person, or $1,600 per couple.  Democrats want rebates of $500 for individuals who make $85,000 or less, and (it sounds like) $1,000 for couples who make $110,000 or less.

$110,000 is not two times $85,000.

Details are still being worked out, of course.

What would you do with your check from da guvment?  Would you... buy a Hillary Clinton nutcracker from my google ads?  Just an idea, you know.  A small little hint.

But anyway... The Democrats think families who make more than $110,000 won't spend it.  I think they would, they would just spend it on higher ticket items, like durable goods, car downpayments, and domestic travel.  All sectors that are worth stimulating.

Why should we only stimulate convenience stories and Wal-mart?

The Candidates' Homes, an NBS Tour

January 17, 2008 02:59 PM

Of course, Mother Jones put these photos up because they want you to think we're ruled by monied, hypocritical, gas guzzling aristocrats, no matter which party wins.  I'm putting them up because real estate is porn for married people.  So let's begin!

Here's Huckabee's house.  Not surprisingly, the candidate that I like the least has the house I like the least.  It's weighs in at 5,124 square feet, with a deck and a swimming pool.  It's also boring, and has atrocious landscaping:

huckabeehouse-big.jpg

Here's Rudy's pad in New York.  I really can't relate to it, but it's got a Walnut-paneled dining room and a cigar room.  I don't smoke, but I like the sound of that.  There's no rule that says you can't use your cigar room as a drinking room.

guiliani.jpg

The McCains do the tall building thing too, but theirs is a $4.7 mill condo in Phoenix.  They also have a ranch in Sedona, which was profiled in Home & Garden.  I think I also saw it in Architectural Digest a few years ago.  It was nice.  Better than their condo, anyway:

mccains-condo-500x389.jpg

Turning for a minute to the other side of the aisle, here's Hill and Bill's place in Westchester County.  I have no problems with it, and it certainly comports with whatever their pollster told them to buy.  I just wonder if they've ever seen it themselves?

clinton-large.jpg

Can't you just feel the love radiating off of the Clinton's house?  You know it's just a place of intimate diners for two, and passionate, romantic interludes.  When Hillary's in D.C.

The Obamas' place in Chicago is also nice.  And, it has a 1,000 bottle wine cellar.  Me like the sound of that!  Party at the Obamas!  They need to learn to bring the trash cans back up promptly though.  How rude.

obamas-house-500x375.jpg

You've already heard me opine in the hideousness of the Edwards home in North Carolina.  It is too big (21,000 square feet).  And it has an indoor basketball court.  They also have a beach house in North Carolina.  Presumably it's more suitable to his "Two Americas" crap than this is:

edwardshome-500x333.jpg

Here's one that's big and tasteful.  It's the Romney's ski retreat in Park City, Utah.  Looks like a house the Bushes would own.  Mitt has residences in several states, I believe.  Mrs. Romney must do a lot of dusting.  Of course, when you don't smoke or drink, what else is there to do?

romney-house-500x333.jpg

NBS is ready to call the winner in the taste department, though.  This is the Thompsons' house in McLean, Virginia.  A seven bedroom, five bath stunner with a real Presidential air.

thompson-house.jpg

Gorgeous.

So what do I look like?

Mostly Kimi Raikkonen, a Finnish Formula 1 driver.

But I'm also 67% Angela Lansbury, 66% Emma Watson, 64% Steve Fosset (dead), 62% Regis, 62% Jared Leto, 62% Rupert Murdock and 62% Chester Bennington (who?).

Strangely enough, I do actually see the similarities with each of them. Especially that sexy Angela Lansbury.

Speaking of religion...

January 16, 2008 11:33 PM

Here we have the deposition testimony of the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church, being questioned under oath by attorneys for the 11 churches in Virginia who chose to decamp for more hospitable climes last year--and who were promptly sued by the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia, and the national Episcopal Church, at the instruction of the deponent you see before you. In this clip, the Presiding Bishop is being asked about the Dar es Salaam Communique, which was the document in which the leaders of the Anglican Communion ordered the Episcopal Church into a form of ecclesiastical bankruptcy receivership. And in particular, here the Presiding Bishop is being asked about this language from the Communique (which she assented to, before she returned to the U.S. and promptly rejected it): We are deeply concerned that so great has been the estrangement between some of the faithful and The Episcopal Church that this has led to recrimination, hostility and even to disputes in the civil courts.

The reason this is important is because in the Virginia litigation, the 11 parishes have a strong upper hand if they can show that there was a division in the Church, because Virginia state law comes down in favor of local congregations retaining ownership of their property if there has been a "division". So she doesn't want to admit to the language that she agreed to, because "estrangement" strongly suggests division. Which as anyone can see, there clearly has been. But she doesn't want to admit it. And, she doesn't want to admit that she agreed with what she said, at the time she said it:

It's a study in evasive dishonesty. My kudos go out to the lawyer for the parishes, who kept pressing. It is very typical for deponents to give a long winded response when they don't want to answer the question before them, and it is really, really hard to remember the exact question that was asked, and make sure you ask it again exactly the same way. Here the attorney keeps pushing. There's a minute there when I thought "uh oh, they're about to let her get away with it." But he brought it back home. And got the answer he wanted. Remember, she had agreed with the statement that they are asking her about--and told everyone present, including the Archbishop of Canterbury and all the other Anglican primates that she agreed with the statement. And here, she admits that she did not agree with what she agreed to in Dar es Salaam. It's rather astounding to be able to confront a clerical witness with a "so were you lying then, or are you lying now?" kind of question. I mean really, was she lying to the Archbishop of Canterbury and all the other Anglican primates? Or is she lying now, under oath in civil litigation in the United States. It's one or the other. Lying then, or lying now?

It reminds me of my first trial, where I got to ask the "so were you lying then, or are you lying now" question to great effect, and much to the appreciation of the reporter from the Dayton Daily News, who was bored to tears. During the next break, the witness who I had been questioning resigned from his position as C.E.O. for the opposing party.

Would that Presiding Bishop Schori have the integrity to do the same.

More video exerpts from the Presiding Bishop's deposition are available here. She looks more and more dishonest in each one.

Mike Huckabee. Jesus. H. Christ.

From a speech in Warren, Michigan on Monday night:

"[Some of my opponents] do not want to change the Constitution, but I believe it's a lot easier to change the constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that's what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards."

It's rare that I take an immediate visceral dislike to someone the way I have with Huckabee.  And I have stepped back on occasion the past few weeks to ask myself if I am being unreasonable.  And you know what?  It's been quite satisfying to see that my initial reaction was totally justified.  We do not need a Republican nominee who makes Constitutionalists look like fools and Christians look like idiots.  As a person who is both, I just do not see why we would vote to let him scandalize our names.  My God, what an embarrassment he is.

Should I post this or not? Oh, what the hell. Why not.

I can't tell you how weird it is to find such a thing. Very, very weird.

But on this topic I shall comment no further. Mind your p's and q's in the comments, too, please.

Does anyone actually believe Hillary Clinton's favorite tv shows are Grey's Anatomy, Antiques Roadshow, American Idol and Dancing with the Stars?

I mean seriously.  What campaign aide made this shit up?  Dancing with the Stars?  You know she spends her nights throwing popcorn at Chris Matthews.  I mean come on.  You know she does. 

I do see her watching Grey's Anatomy and Idol, though.  They're probably the training videos she uses to teach herself to cry on command.  And Antiques Roadshow?  Probably reminds her of the White House furniture she and Bill stole when they were on their way out the door in January, 2000.

No way she watches these shows to be entertained by them.  No way.

And on the Republican side...  John McCain.  Prison Break?  Are you kidding me?  The reason he gives:

"...because as a fellow prisoner, I always dreamed and plotted how I would break out of the Hanoi Hilton."

Ridiculous.  Surely, he must think we're idiots. 

Financial Advisers Survey: A Democrat in the White House is a bigger threat to the ecomony than global unrest, terrorism and, well, anything else.

January 14, 2008 10:19 AM

From Investment News:

Nothing worries financial advisers more than the prospect of a Democrat's being elected president in November, according to a quarterly poll by Brinker Capital Inc.

The fourth-quarter edition of the Brinker Barometer, which polled 236 advisers in December, found that 22% indicated that a "Democrat in the White House" worried them more than all other economic or geopolitical concerns.

Rounding out the list of concerns was "global unrest" (15%), "U.S. economic growth" (15%), "a terrorist attack" (13%) and "a recession" (13%).

Anyone surprised?

Another book I won't be writing...

January 11, 2008 10:43 PM

Someone beat me to it!  One nephew, at the age of three, once pointed to beer in their refrigerator and explained "Das daddy juice."  So it runs in the family.

Why we can't nominate McCain, in cartoon form.

Elevator Etiquette

The Rule: You let ladies go first when getting on an empty elevator.  But when you're getting off a crowded elevator, the person who gets off first is the one closest to the door.

You do not slam yourself up against the wall so the ladies can try to stumble past you.

You do not snicker when the other man who's standing closest to the door knows the rules, and try to make him look like he's not being considerate of the ladies.  He's being considerate by not blocking them in.  He's also being considerate by wearing an undershirt to work, so while we're talking etiquette, you need to be wearing one.  Chest hair is not allowed at the office. 

"We are facing an epidemic of cocktails served in inappropriately large glasses."

January 10, 2008 09:54 AM

Well at least it's not bird flu.  A oversized cocktail epidemic?  Is this really a concern?  Apparently so:

"A too-large glass gives the drink more time to lose its chill and initial zest, and a half-filled glass looks unexciting, so an average-size cocktail glass of 4 1/2 ounces is the most satisfactory," wrote Collette Richardson in the 1973 edition of "House & Garden's Drink Guide."

Thirty-five years later, just try finding a 4.5-ounce cocktail glass. In fact, most glassware called for in cocktail books has become exceedingly difficult to find. Retailers also are stocked with ridiculously huge double old-fashioned glasses, clocking in at 10 to 15 ounces. Finding the normal six- to eight-ounce old-fashioned glass that most drink recipes call for is difficult but not impossible....

The same is true with wine glasses these days.  The sizing has gotten ridiculous.  Now you don't buy a glass, you buy a "pour."  And that's usually a third of a bottle.  And apparently, it's not a good thing.  The Washington Post tells us:

"Cocktail geeks have always known that small martini glasses are better."

I'm a cocktail geek and I didn't know that.  I like the oversized glasses because they look less... dainty.  But apparently the theory is that if the drink is too big, you won't finish it while it is still ice, ice cold.  Makes sense to me.  Have two small ones instead of one big one.  Or, four small ones instead of two big ones.  Or, six small ones instead of three big ones.  You get the idea.

So the Bucks may have lost last night, but we'll always have Michigan to make fun of.

January 8, 2008 10:01 AM

And they are such easy targets, aren't they?  From the University of Michigan's course catalog:

Section 002 — How to be Gay: Male Homosexuality and Initiation.

Credits: (3; 2 in the half-term).

Instructor(s): David M Halperin (halperin@umich.edu)

Course Description:

Just because you happen to be a gay man doesn't mean that you don't have to learn how to become one. Gay men do some of that learning on their own, but often we learn how to be gay from others, either because we look to them for instruction or because they simply tell us what they think we need to know, whether we ask for their advice or not.

This course will examine the general topic of the role that initiation plays in the formation of gay male identity. We will approach it from three angles: (1) as a sub-cultural practice — subtle, complex, and difficult to theorize — which a small but significant body of work in queer studies has begun to explore; (2) as a theme in gay male writing; and (3) as a class project, since the course itself will constitute an experiment in the very process of initiation that it hopes to understand.

In particular, we will examine a number of cultural artifacts and activities that seem to play a prominent role in learning how to be gay: Hollywood movies, grand opera, Broadway musicals, and other works of classical and popular music, as well as camp, diva-worship, drag, muscle culture, taste, style, and political activism. Are there a number of classically 'gay' works such that, despite changing tastes and generations, all gay men, of whatever class, race, or ethnicity, need to know them, in order to be gay? What is there about gay identity that explains the gay appropriation of these works? What do we learn about gay male identity by asking not who gay men are but what it is that gay men do or like? One aim of exploring these questions is to approach gay identity from the perspective of social practices and cultural identifications rather than from the perspective of gay sexuality itself. What can such an approach tell us about the sentimental, affective, or subjective dimensions of gay identity, including gay sexuality, that an exclusive focus on gay sexuality cannot?

At the core of gay experience there is not only identification but disidentification. Almost as soon as I learn how to be gay, or perhaps even before, I also learn how not to be gay. I say to myself, 'Well, I may be gay, but at least I'm not like that!' Rather than attempting to promote one version of gay identity at the expense of others, this course will investigate the stakes in gay identifications and disidentifications, seeking ultimately to create the basis for a wider acceptance of the plurality of ways in which people determine how to be gay.

Additional note. This course is not a basic introduction to gay male culture, but an exploration of certain issues arising from it. It assumes some background knowledge. Students wishing to inform themselves about gay men and gay culture in a preliminary way should enroll in an introductory course in lesbian/gay studies.

HT: Stand Firm.

UPDATE: Comments are not working again.  No idea why.  It's probably for the best.

At Starbucks I asked for a grande and they gave me a venti.

For free!

It is a good day.

Big girls don't cry...

January 7, 2008 06:23 PM

...when faced with adversity.

Do they, Hillary?

So who's actually in the lead where it matters (the delegate count)

The Green Papers is keeping track, and trying to make sense of the ridiculously complicated rules. After Iowa and Wyoming, we've got:

Romney:  17

Huckabee:  13

Fred:  8

McCain:  5

Paul:  4

Rudy:  1

You need 1,259 to get the nomination, so nobody is even close.  For the Dems, Obama's got 16, Hillary's got 15 and Edwards has 14.  That's just after Iowa.  The Dems didn't do Wyoming yet.  Bet you didn't know Hillary got more delegates from Iowa than Edwards, even though she finished with fewer votes.  Further proof that the system makes no sense.

Shades of North Korea in New Eco-Friendly Proposals for Californians

From the American Thinker, there is word that proposed changes to California's building codes requires a PCT, which is a "programmable communicating thermostat."  Here's how that works:

Every new home and every change to existing homes' central heating and air conditioning systems will required to be fitted with a PCT beginning next year following the issuance of the revision.  Each PCT will be fitted with a "non-removable " FM receiver that will allow the power authorities to increase your air conditioning temperature setpoint or decrease your heater temperature setpoint to any value they chose.  During "price events" those changes are limited to +/- four degrees F and you would be able to manually override the changes.  During "emergency events" the new setpoints can be whatever the power authority desires and you would not be able to alter them.

Yes, you read that right.  Governmental authorities in the state capital get to control the thermostat.  It sounds to me like North Korea, where every home is equipped with a radio that plays government propaganda all day, every day.  You can turn it down, but not off.  It extolls the virtues of their Dear Leader, and passes on helpful "suggestions" such as "don't eat more than two meals a day," because more than two meals a day can be hazardous to your health.  Maybe that's next for California?  Why not have the PCT play tree-hugging propaganda?  It's a radio. You can bet they can make it talk to you. 

On the plus side to PCTs: The social savings.  Think of all the arguments that are eliminated when you farm all the decision-making out to the government!

Pet Detectives are real...

...I had no idea.  This family searched for six days, and the pet detective (and his bluetick) found their dog in six minutes.

They took Samantha to the place where Rudy was last seen - a broken backyard fence - and gave her a whiff of one of Rudy's toys. Samantha followed the scent of the little black dog to a neighbor's yard where the family had looked several times before. But this time, as they called Rudy's name, his little head popped up from a ditch and he barked.

He was pinned between a log and a fence in a neighbor's yard. He couldn't move his legs, but he was alive.

"I've never been so happy in my entire life!" said Ellis of the moment she saw her dog. "I was screaming 'That's my dog! That's my dog!"

Wouldn't that be a rewarding side job?  And he charges $350 a pop.  Not bad for a side gig doing what you enjoy. 

This is creepy though:  Rudy's owner had already hired a pet psychic, who told the dog was "near the house and couldn't move," but couldn't pin down the exact spot.

Turned out to be true!

New baby fears

January 5, 2008 11:49 PM

So in addition to the "Please God, Don't Let Her Be a Democrat" thing, have I also mentioned that I live in fear that I'm going to be the next Brenda Nessleroad-Slaby?  It's true.  I think it's one of the reasons I was so easy on Brenda Nessleroad-Slaby this summer, after she left her baby to roast in a hot car while she went in to work.  I knew we'd be bringing home a baby, and I knew I could see myself being so absent minded.

In fact, I had a law professor once who began class once in a very rattled manner, and then explained it was because he had been outside his normal routine that morning, and was supposed to drop the kids of at school.  But instead, he went in completely the wrong direction, and didn't realize it until he was parking at the law school, and from the back seat he heard "Dad!!! You were supposed to take us to school!!!!"  It's a good thing they spoke up, or he probably would have left them in there.

I could totally see that happening to me.

So anyway, as we've been looking for a baby friendly new car, I've paid particular attention to the mirrors you get (on some SUVs, they are built-in) that show the back seat.  I've been very focused on things you can get to help you remember not to roast your child.  Turkey timers, I gather, would be considered child abuse.  And there's a big debate about mirrors, because if you're in an accident, they could fall off and konk (or even slice) they baby.  So it's all very complicated, and also a big conspiracy to get you to spend money on some supposedly fool-proof thing. 

But, the good news is, I've come up with what I think it just about the best PSA spot ever, for local radio when it get hot this summer:

Don't Slaby Your Baby.

Classy, isn't it!  700WLW would totally run it, anyway.  Can't you imagine it on billboards all over the tri-state?

Commenting problem. Solved?

Well they appear to be working again, for no reason other than I've been on an anti-spam commenting crusade.  I think cleaning them out was like a blogospheric angioplasty or something. Now every thing is flowing much more properly.

If you've ever scrolled through the archives, you've probably noticed a lot of spam in the comments.  I've gotten lazy about deleting these, because I know most people only read the main page.  Apparently, I've gotten too lazy.  And I think I figured out the source of the problem.  It was this post, which was about a minor kerfuffle I had with the Cincinnati Beacon in August.  They had taken me to task for (supposedly) not knowing the difference between cuckolding and swinging.  In my post, I apologized for my gross ignorance (well, kind of apologized.  As much as I would ever apologize anyway), and clarified that I do, in fact, know what a "hot wife" is.

Well, you can imagine the kind of comment spam this post attracted.  Apparently there are a lot of people trying to peddle their spam wares, and those wares have much to do with cuckolding, swinging, and hot wives.  In fact, since that post went up in August, it has attracted 13,670 comments, from people attempting to sell loyal NBSers all sorts of services, products, website entertainments, etc.  None of which were endorsed by me.  Nor did I get a cut of any proceeds from those of you who got pervy entertainment via links from my comments. 

I discovered this by simply going through old posts, and turning off the comments on old posts that seemed to attract a lot of spam.  Most of them would maybe have 30-100 spam comments, and I'd wipe those out, thinking that all of them, collectively, must have been slowing the system.  And then I got to the post with the 13,670 comments.  The system crashed twice, just while I was deleting them.  And it took forever to get rid of them all.  My commenting problems must have been caused by this minor Cincinnati Beacon kerfuffle.  Who would of thought?  A kerfuffle with Beacon... hardly something worthy of my time.

And as for the spamers, I'm pretty ignorant of how they target what they do.  I assume they have programs that pick out posts that suit whatever they've been hired to peddle, and then they target those posts with lots of spam comments (all of which contain hyperlinks to their products).

But what I don't understand is, why they think someone is going to be reading NBS and getting some anti-Hillary Clinton diatribe and then suddenly decide to link on some pervy hyperlink in the comments.  I get the point of the spam comments, but why the hell leave them here?  Are you all a bunch of pervs?  Is Senator Larry Craig an NBSer?  Are you all secretly interested in cuckolding, swinging and hot wives?  What is with you freaks?

FYI: Comments on this post will be turned of in three days.  If you have anything to say, say it now.

The comments are not working.

I know.  Thanks for your emails, I am trying to fix the problem.  It's kind of a crazy weekend at Chez NBS, so it could be a little while.

In the meantime, what's not to love about this:

If the New Hampshire Democratic Party’s 100 Club dinner is any bell weather – Barack Obama will handily win here. When Obama, the dinner’s last speaker, took the stage the crowd surged forward chanting “O-bam-a” and “Fired Up, Ready to Go!” So many people pressed toward the stage that an announcer asked people to “please take their seats for safety concerns.”

By comparison Hillary was twice booed. The first time was when she said she has always and will continue to work for "change for you. The audience, particularly from Obama supporters (they were waving Obama signs) let out a noise that sounded like a thousand people collectively groaning. The second time came a few minutes later when Clinton said: "The there are two big questions for voters in New Hampshire. One is: who will be ready to lead from day one? The second," and here Clinton was forced to pause as boos from the crowd mixed with cheers from her own supporters. "Is who can we nominate who will go the distance against the Republicans?”

The dinner held in the Hampshire Dome in Milford is the largest political dinner in New Hampshire history, Republican or Democrat. More than 3,000 people attended.

I was worried it might be premature to post the "Ding, Dong the Witch is Dead" video.  Don't want to jinx it, you know.  And it still might be too early to officially declare her "most sincerely dead" in the words of the munchkin coroner.  But things are not looking good for her, now are they?  Sing it high, sing it low!

"And Iowa she says is the name of the star"

January 4, 2008 11:48 AM

More reaction to Hillary's third place finish.

Turn your speakers up high, and dance with the little people. Dance!

HT: The Llamas

Can you imagine putting a sticker that says "Huckabee" on the back of your car?

Me either.

The Iowa Results

January 3, 2008 11:00 PM

Hillary in third?  A dream come true.  True, I'm not being astute, because she's the easiest to beat in the general election, and all good Republicans should root for her in the primaries.  I'm not one of that crowd.  I want her, and him, gone. 

As for the Republicans?  Bad, bad, news for conservatism tonight.  There is now a real possibility that we will be dealing with three major Republican candidates--Huckabee, McCain and Rudy--and not have a conservative among them.  That's a sad, sad day.  And a recipe for disaster in November. 

Maybe it's just time to tune out, drop out, and make as much money as possible with the real job, since Edwards and Huckabee want to redistribute such a huge proportion of it. 

Iowa. So what's the dream scenario for tonight?

I'd just love the Republicans to poll as follows:

(1) Romney, (2) Huckabilly, (3) Ron Paul, (4) Fred Thompson, (5) McCain and (6) Rudy.

Why?  Because Romney is the well-rounded conservative in the case (other than Thompson, who can't win).  Huckabee at No. 2 because well, that's just where he's going to be if he doesn't get No. 1.  I'd like Huckabee to poll lower (last, actually), but that's just not possible.  I'd like Ron Paul at No. 3 because I will delight at the gnashing of teeth.  Fred at 4 because that's the only way Paul gets the 3 slot, and because Fred needs to drop out.  McCain at 5 because we want to burst the latest "we love John McCain" media bubble before New Hampshire gets out of control (if it is not already).  And Rudy at 6, just because he's not trying in Iowa at all.

As for the Democrats, I'd love to see:

(1) Obama, (2) Edwards and (3) Hillary. 

Why?  Because OH MY GOD if Hillary Clinton finishes third it would be just about the happiest day I could possibly ever have.  Obama in first because he's not John Edwards and because if Edwards finished first he may actually win the nomination and that would be a disaster because he could actually be elected President.  And we do not want that.

Can you imagine what tomorrow morning will be like if Hillary Clinton and Ron Paul both finish third in their respective primaries? 

So I'm ready for a glass of wine, a spot on the couch, and Henry (the black lab) in his wing-back chair.  Hopefully Shepard Smith is still on vacation.  His annoying face is the only thing standing in the way of a great evening.

At long last, the details on the Kucinich UFO sighting

January 2, 2008 02:22 PM

I've been interested in this ever since Shirley MacLaine chimed in last fall, and said that Dennis Kucinich had seen a UFO in the backyard of her house.  He's refused to give us the details, but now we've got 'em, thanks to the intrepid reporters at The Wall Street JournalThey spoke to the others who were there, Paul Costanzo, "a Juilliard-trained trumpet player and jujitsu black belt, who worked as Ms. MacLaine's assistant, personal trainer and bodyguard," and Mr. Costanzo's then-girfriend.

Ms. MacLaine was up performing her one woman show in Canada at the time, and wasn't home.  Dennis was living at her house, though, writing his memoirs after Clevelanders voted him out of office after one term as Mayor.  So it was just the three of them.  You know, hanging out at Shirley's place.

Anyway, back to the story:

The day was strange from the start. For hours, Mr. Kucinich, Mr. Costanzo and his companion noticed a high-pitched sound. "There was a sense that something extraordinary was happening all day," says the girlfriend. She and Mr. Costanzo say that none of the three consumed alcohol or took drugs.

As they sat down to a dinner, Mr. Kucinich spotted a light in the distance, to the left of Mount Rainier. Mr. Costanzo thought it was a helicopter.

But Mr. Kucinich walked outside to the deck to look through the telescope that he had bought Ms. MacLaine as a house gift. After a few minutes, Mr. Kucinich summoned the other two: "Guys, come on out here and look at this."

Mr. Costanzo and his girlfriend joined Mr. Kucinich, where they took turns peering through the telescope. What they saw in the far distance, according to both witnesses, was a hovering light, which soon divided into two, and then three.

After a few minutes, the lights moved closer and it became apparent that they were actually three charcoal-gray, triangular craft, flying in a tight wedge. The girlfriend remembers each triangle having red and green lights running down the edges, with a laser-like red light at the tail. Mr. Costanzo recalls white lights, but no tail.

Mr. Costanzo says each triangle was roughly the size of a large van, while his former girlfriend compares it to a "larger Cessna, smaller than a jet certainly." Neither recalls seeing any markings, landing gear, engines, windows or cockpits.

The craft approached to within 200 yards, suspended over the field just beyond the swimming pool. Both witnesses say it emitted a quiet, throbbing sound -- nothing like an airplane engine.

"There was a feeling of wanting to communicate something, but I didn't know what," says Mr. Costanzo.

The craft held steady in midair, for perhaps a minute, then sped away, Mr. Costanzo says. "Nothing had landed," he says. "No strange beings had disembarked. No obvious messages were beamed down. When they were completely out of sight, we all looked at each other disbelieving what we had seen."

At Mr. Kucinich's suggestion, they jotted down their impressions and drew pictures to memorialize the event. Mr. Kucinich kept the notes, according to Ms. MacLaine, who said he promised her recently that he would try to find them.

"It was proof to me that we're obviously not alone," says the girlfriend.

The next day, the group spotted what they thought to be military helicopters buzzing around the valley where they had made the sighting. And the high-pitched sound remained.

Mr. Kucinich called Ms. MacLaine in Canada to tell her what had happened. "He said it was beautiful, serene, and it moved him," says Ms. MacLaine, who is supporting Mr. Kucinich's candidacy. "He was not afraid of it, let's put it that way. Seeing something that close and sophisticated and gentle."

Ms. MacLaine says she has seen UFOs from a distance in New Mexico and Peru, but never up close. She was envious. "I'm the one who reports them, but they never make close visitation. What am I doing wrong?"

What is she doing wrong, indeed?

Also, where are those notes?  Dennis promised Shirley recently that he would try to find them.  Why doesn't he get on that?

And what about this:

Ms. MacLaine says she called Mr. Kucinich before she included his UFO sighting in her book, "Sage-ing while Age-ing," a recounting of her spiritual and professional journeys. "I can handle it," she says he told her.

Talk about things you can say when you know your Presidential campaign is going nowhere.  Here's how I imagine that conversation going down:

Drrrrrring.  Drrrrrrrrring.  [phone ringing].

Dennis:  "Howdy ho!"

Shirley: "Hey Denny it's Shirls."

Dennis: "Haaaaay Shirls!!!!"

Shirley: "Your voice.  Dennis.  God, I miss you.  When you need me in New Hampshire, I'm there for you."

Dennis: "I need to check with Elizabeth."

Shirley: "LOVE that girl.  You know Den, I was thinking..."

Dennis: "Talk to me Shirls!  Talk to me!"

Shirley: "...remember when you were staying with me twenty five years ago..."

Dennis: "OH YEAH.  KEEP TALKING.  OH YEAH!"

Shirley: "Well I was just down in Peru looking at cave art drawn here five million years by Our Friends and was thinking about that time you were at my house with Pauly and his girl, and you all had that special experience."

Dennis: "OH YEAH.  KEEP TALKING.  OH YEAH!"

Shirley:  "Dennis! (giggles)  I'm talking about the time you saw The Ship!  I was wondering if I could put that in my new book, Sage-ing While Age-ing."

Dennis: "Oh what the hell.  Why not."

Shirley: "Wonders, Den.  Wonders.  You're the best!  Hugs and kisses to Elizabeth!"

Dennis: "OH YEAH.  KEEP TALKING.  OH YEAH!"

So what's going on with Baby NBS?

All is well, we hope. And we have no reason to believe it's not. Here's a semi-creepy thing that shows you exactly what is going on:

We do know it's going to be a girl, and we're busy getting ready for the big arrival. Hopefully she's cute. And not a Democrat. We've actually talked about this.

Me: What if she turns out to be a Democrat?

Mrs. NBS: She won't.

Me: But what if she is?

Mrs. NBS: She won't be a Democrat.

Me: You can't always control these things. What is she's a rebel?

Mrs. NBS: There's just no way.

Me: Well you just never know. It happens even in the best families.

Mrs. NBS: I know. There's always boarding school.

We also want her to be healthy. And, if you think this is a parody of an actual conversation, you'd be wrong.

An "I Only Date Democrats" Girl

January 1, 2008 11:41 AM

[Phote pulled due to guilt trip by Jackie Danicki.  Jackie, at the very least, your friend has bitchface.] 

A severe, manly jaw.  Stringy hair.  No make-up.  Pale skin.  Eyebrows tweezed into mean little lines.  No sense of pride in her appearance.  And just this aura of anger.

What makes her think she's in a position to be so choosy?

[Photo one of the many interesting ones that are always up over at 5chw4r7z.]

Random OH-02 Political Observations, New Year's Eve

So I was out tonight with a mostly Republican crowd (I know, big surprise).  And I found my first convert: A Republican who is crossing party lines to vote in the Democratic primary for Steve Black.  Her exact words to me: "He's basically a Republican."  Uhhhh, no, he's not.  And I know several Indian Hill-ites who are voting for him too.  He lives there.  They know him.  Go to church with him, etc.  So they like him.  More than they ever liked Victoria Wulsin, who most of those types believe is kind of weird.  And let's face it.  She is.  Weird.

But Steve Black... kind of an Indian Hill favorite son. 

But not, I think, among the astute political crowd.  Outside of the Magic Mountain, his name recognition is nil, and I think Wulsin will trounce him, even though people in Indian Hill think she's crazy.  In the rest of the district, people at least know who she is.  She's run before, and done well.  Steve Black is not going to do well outside of Indian Hill.  But he may do better than Wulsin does there, because smart, mostly wealthy people, don't like her.  At all.  But Black's I-Hill vote is NOT going to carry through the rest of the district, unless he raises millions of dollars (which he hasn't).

So that's my prediction.  Black loses in the primary.  And Wulsin, without a disaster in Iraq to campaign against, loses in the general. 

So sorry, weak-kneed Republicans.  Just because you know someone from the Indian Hill Presbyterian Episcopal Church, does not mean they have much credibility outside your sphere of influence.  Shocking, I know.  But the truth is Ohio 02 is a lot bigger than Indian Hill.  Thank God.

Also: There is a whole sub-story here about how the Republican party is not the party of the elites, as is widely assumed.  The Democrats are.  Two Democratic candidates with old school Indian Hill names...  And they're up against a Republican girl from Loveland.  Any real reporters want to take on this story?