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New baby fears

January 5, 2008 11:49 PM

So in addition to the "Please God, Don't Let Her Be a Democrat" thing, have I also mentioned that I live in fear that I'm going to be the next Brenda Nessleroad-Slaby?  It's true.  I think it's one of the reasons I was so easy on Brenda Nessleroad-Slaby this summer, after she left her baby to roast in a hot car while she went in to work.  I knew we'd be bringing home a baby, and I knew I could see myself being so absent minded.

In fact, I had a law professor once who began class once in a very rattled manner, and then explained it was because he had been outside his normal routine that morning, and was supposed to drop the kids of at school.  But instead, he went in completely the wrong direction, and didn't realize it until he was parking at the law school, and from the back seat he heard "Dad!!! You were supposed to take us to school!!!!"  It's a good thing they spoke up, or he probably would have left them in there.

I could totally see that happening to me.

So anyway, as we've been looking for a baby friendly new car, I've paid particular attention to the mirrors you get (on some SUVs, they are built-in) that show the back seat.  I've been very focused on things you can get to help you remember not to roast your child.  Turkey timers, I gather, would be considered child abuse.  And there's a big debate about mirrors, because if you're in an accident, they could fall off and konk (or even slice) they baby.  So it's all very complicated, and also a big conspiracy to get you to spend money on some supposedly fool-proof thing. 

But, the good news is, I've come up with what I think it just about the best PSA spot ever, for local radio when it get hot this summer:

Don't Slaby Your Baby.

Classy, isn't it!  700WLW would totally run it, anyway.  Can't you imagine it on billboards all over the tri-state?


I think it is a great slogan

Anonymous   ·  January 6, 2008 10:09 AM

you scare me

bil   ·  January 6, 2008 08:11 PM

Take some comfort in the fact that many people are now berserk about this issue. Try leaving your childing in an idling car while you walk to the mailbox at the end of your driveway and suddenly fifteen or twenty people will spring up from behind trees and bushes to smash out the window of the car and sit on you until the cops arrive.

Realistically, when you become a parent you become simultaneously more forgetful (due in large part to lack of sleep) and more paranoid about safety. There are some good evolutionary reasons why it's almost practically impossible to Slaby your baby - your brain starts thinking "is the baby okay" about every four and a half seconds, like a computer virus that interrupts all other programs.

Plus it seems like you have a good, dark sense of humor. That helps, I think, when it comes to the practice or rearing young varmints. It's almost a voodoo ward against truly bad things happening.

Brendan   ·  January 7, 2008 07:11 AM

block kids on the mp3 New >block on New kids the girl

the block on kids loving New   ·  May 18, 2008 08:09 AM

block kids on the mp3 New >block on New kids the girl

the block on kids loving New   ·  May 18, 2008 08:09 AM

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