Nasty, Brutish & Short

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So what's going on with Baby NBS?

January 2, 2008 12:02 AM

All is well, we hope. And we have no reason to believe it's not. Here's a semi-creepy thing that shows you exactly what is going on:

We do know it's going to be a girl, and we're busy getting ready for the big arrival. Hopefully she's cute. And not a Democrat. We've actually talked about this.

Me: What if she turns out to be a Democrat?

Mrs. NBS: She won't.

Me: But what if she is?

Mrs. NBS: She won't be a Democrat.

Me: You can't always control these things. What is she's a rebel?

Mrs. NBS: There's just no way.

Me: Well you just never know. It happens even in the best families.

Mrs. NBS: I know. There's always boarding school.

We also want her to be healthy. And, if you think this is a parody of an actual conversation, you'd be wrong.


Congratulations! Girls rock. Just try not to think about how moody, expensive, and emotionally needy we can be. Or about the fact that 99% of girls grow up to be women with daddy issues. No pressure.

Also, I think it is worth noting that you are worried about her being a Democrat, and not a Muslim or a lesbian. Are you turning "progressive" on us? Say it ain't so...

Jackie Danicki   ·  January 2, 2008 01:04 AM

Very cute. Are you going to liveblog the birth?

Anonymous   ·  January 2, 2008 09:14 AM

"Oh how sharper than a serpent's tooth it is, to have a thankless child."

Which is basically what Democrats are.

Elephantitus   ·  January 2, 2008 09:55 AM

Anon 9:14: No, I will not be liveblogging it. I don't really want to be in the room myself, to be honest with you.

Jackie: I'm not too worried about her being a Muslim, but if you like Mark Steyn (and I really, really do), if current demographic trends continue, most of us will be Muslim in a generation or two. As for her being a lesbian, I think they're just urban myths.

Anonymous   ·  January 2, 2008 10:21 AM

If you do decide to be in the room, tell them "no thanks" to the mirror, stay positioned near your wife's head, and if necessary, crouch down on the floor.

This also means you won't fall as far if you suddenly black out, which may happen at the moment you realize it's actually/finally happening.

Don't think you won't reach this point.

Brendan   ·  January 2, 2008 10:47 AM

Strange floating baby.

Anonymous   ·  January 2, 2008 12:44 PM

When my ex and I discussed childbirth, he was adamant that the closest he'd get to the labor room would be the pub across the road. At first I was annoyed about this, then realized that I'd be even more annoyed if I was trying to push out a baby and kept getting distracted by his squeamishness. Also, I can imagine that all the "helpful" birthing assistance from a man might be a wee bit infuriating at that point.

Luckily, a friend of ours is a veteran pediatric/delivery room nurse and offered to be there with me and make sure everything went well (no small consideration when dealing with Britain's disastrous socialized healthcare system). We ended up not having kids, but I was pretty satisfied with these alternative arrangements.

BTW, Gordon Ramsay has four or five kids with his wife and has not witnessed any of their births. As he puts it, "My wife and I have a fantastic sex life and I'd like to keep it that way."

Jackie Danicki   ·  January 2, 2008 05:14 PM

Don't laugh. Actual conversation at my house some years back: "Mother, I'm sorry, but . . . I'm a liberal." And he still is. High on my list of Parenting Failures.

Miss Sippi   ·  January 5, 2008 12:27 PM

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