Nasty, Brutish & Short

May 2008 Archives

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Why I haven't been blogging much lately.

May 23, 2008 09:30 PM

Someone has stolen my heart.


Hey, your Dad just dropped out of the Presidential Race. Whatcha gonna do now?

Mitt Romney emails NBS with an update on the Five Brothers:

Dear [NBS]:

I'd like to update you on what's been happening since the campaign ended and to tell you about my latest venture.

First, Ann and I have some exciting news. We have three new grandchildren on the way!

That's a lot of procreatin'.  Maybe one of them is having triplets? 

Attorney General of Ohio one day, and the next...

May 16, 2008 12:34 PM's helping the missuz slog crap on ebay (no really).  From the Columbus Dispatch:
YOUNGSTOWN, Ohio (AP) — Former Ohio Attorney General Marc Dann spent his first day after resigning helping his wife with her business selling dishes online.

Dann's attorney Mike Harshman says Dann helped his wife, Alyssa Lenhoff Dann, with her side job selling Fiestaware on the Internet.

Dann walked two miles from his suburban Youngstown home Thursday to the office where he took orders and packed dishes.

Harshman says Dann is weighing career options that could include the law, teaching or another run for political office.

Dann resigned Wednesday after acknowledging an affair with a subordinate and ahead of a threat of impeachment.  

So pathetic.  If you did what he did would your wife let you pack her Fiestaware?

More socialized medicine horror stories from our friends up north

May 14, 2008 02:29 PM

This time from The Kraalspace, where Dr. Mabuse's 18 year-old daughter is having chronic seizures:

We finally got in to see our GP, after 2 weeks' wait. A week later, Emma went to the General Hospital and had an EEG - it was the middle of the day, not a time when she usually has a problem, so it didn't show up anything too unusual. Except when they started flashing the lights at her - when they got up to 16 pulses per second, her brainwaves started going haywire, so they stopped at that point and didn't do the last 3 levels (I think they can go up to 64 pulses per second).

About 2 weeks later, we finally got the referral to a neurologist at the Civic Hospital. Are you ready for this? The appointment is for August 18. April 4, when she had her big seizure, to August 18 - that's 4.5 months, for an 18-year old girl who is having chronic seizures.

Dr. Mabuse says:

I dream about getting rich, I'm sure many people do. But I never think, "If I had lots of money, I could buy a giant plasma TV and have a computer in every room of the house, and take vacations on a private island in the Caribbean." All I think is, "I'd get my kids the hell out of this dingy backwater, and down the U.S. where they have a decent medical system, and you don't die waiting for a doctor to look at a lump in your breast."

I should point out that Dr. Mabuse lives in Canada's capital city, which hardly needs to be a "dingy backwater," but because of the stupidity of socialism, apparently it is.  Meanwhile, down here in our supposedly "broken" American health care system, I have been shallowly dreaming of plasma tvs and Caribbean vacations.  Even worse, I've been complaining that our private insurer is making us pay the annual deductible for both Mrs. NBS and Baby NBS for the exciting, expensive birth.  I guess they are two people, but I felt the charges ($500 x 2) were outrageous, because it kind of felt like it was "one event" and not two.  But at least no one ended up dead, and when we wanted to stay an extra night, they said no problem.  And they covered the balance of the bill--which was well in excess of $15,000--without batting an eye.

Canada puts it all in perspective though, doesn't it?

Meet Beach Bob

May 12, 2008 04:08 PM

Maybe the lower taxes still don't make Florida worth it?  Meet Beach Bob, retired court reporter.  Current occupation: Plaintiff.  He's suing the Lee County Sherrif's Office.  The Naples News has the background:

Beach Bob likes to sunbathe in a Speedo.

Nearly every cloudless morning for more than 10 years, he’s wheeled his tattered lounger down to the same spot, which he says is due west of where the boardwalk opens onto the sand at Bonita Beach, and sets up camp for the day.

And so his retirement was going. Sun-drenched, uneventful. Until one day a Lee County Sheriff’s deputy stopped by and wrote him a warning for trespassing.

The reason?

“Exposed scrotum,” the notice read. “Never return to Bonita Beach Main Access.”

Beach Bob wasn't going to take that lying down!

He hired a lawyer, studied maps of the Collier-Lee county line, trotted some of the other beach regulars up to Fort Myers to testify on his behalf. They reported the patch of sand he claims every day is in fact south of the Lee border, so Deputy William Dunaske had no business patrolling there anyway.

They said [he] never rolls in the sides of his Speedo like the deputy alleged.

He got the trespassing warning dismissed.  And now he's brought a civil rights claim (he now suffers from insomnia because of the stress).  Here's what would keep me up at night:  Getting subpoened to testify about whether Beach Bob rolls in the sides of his speedo.  Would that be how you'd want to spend your golden years?  You sure you want to move to Florida?

Speaking of golden, here's a picture of Beach Bob:

Work it Beach Bob.  Work it.  If the speedo fits you must aquits!

If you're assuming this is a case of first impression you'd be wrong.  A few years ago our own Miami University up in Oxford was sued by an employee after he was told he could no longer wear a speedo to swim at the university gym.  People got to have their rights!

HT:  Above the Law.

The Party Leadership We Deserve?

Ready to get depressed?  The House Republicans have a new slogan that is obviously a reaction to Obama's nebulous calls for "change."  The slogan is, dum dum DUM: "Change You Deserve."

Actually that drumroll should be "dumb dumb DUMB."  You know they paid a consultant a ton of money to come up with it, and it's not even that great. 

And even worse, it turns out that "Change You Deserve" is already the registered advertising slogan of Effexor XR-- which treats "depression, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and panic disorder in adults."  It's common side effects are nausea, apathy, constipation, fatigue, vertigo, sexual dysfunction, sweating, memory loss, and "electric shock-like sensations also called 'brain zaps.'"

Maybe it's what we should all be on to get us through the McCain candidacy?  I know I've already got the nausea and the apathy, and Bob Dole--our last truly horrible nominee--can help with the worst of the rest of the side effects.  He'll hook you up, I hear.  And they say we don't have a prescription drug plan.

More on the Cincinnati earthquake: If you want homeowners' coverage for one, you can't get it

May 9, 2008 01:32 PM

Well I never thought this would be an issue.  Just got the quote back from the insurance man for homeowners' coverage on the new house (yes, we're finally moving, no I haven't blogged about it.  Not enough hours in the day).  He gave me two quotes.  One for earthquake coverage, one without.  An explanatory note says the insurance company has suspended its agents' binding authority for earthquake coverage "until further notice."  So if I opt for earthquake coverage, they'll add it to the policy, if and when they are allowed to cover earthquakes again.

This is Ohio!  Talk about something that makes you think that "they" know something we don't.  The Big One is just around the corner and the only people who know it is Big Insurance! 

I say that in jest, of course.  Kind of.  It's been so long since I've blogged, my readers (if there are any left) may not know my sense of humor.

But anyway: If they are allowed to write coverage for earthquakes again, it will cost me $250 per year.  For something that supposedly is really, really unlikely.  Is $250 for earthquake coverage--in Ohio--a rip off?  The house is brick, so any damage would be really expensive to fix.  But what are the chances?

UPDATE:  I asked the agent about it, and he said that within an hour of the earthquake, he'd gotten an email informing him that he no longer had binding authority for earthquake coverage.  And, he says coverage is going to be getting a lot more expensive, not less.  But for $250 per year in earthquake coverage, I'd like to at least be within a 10 hour drive of a palm tree. 

Dusty Rhodes to Single Moms: "And your little dog, too!!!"

May 6, 2008 12:22 PM

From today's Enquirer:

Kathleen Akin of Wyoming was featured in The Enquirer April 24 for her decision to be a single mother. But it was her dog that got the attention of the Hamilton County Auditor's Office.

After a photo showed Akin, 45, and her children walking with Sophie, the family's King Charles spaniel, Akin got a letter from the Auditor's Office.

"We saw a picture from Thursday's Cincinnati Enquirer of you in the 'Single Women Who Choose Motherhood" article,'" stated the letter. "When we checked our dog registration database, we didn't find any references you had licensed your dog Sophie."

Obviously, something had to be done about these law breakers:


Dr. Kathleen Akin, Wyoming, walks with her children, Matthew and Claire, and their dog, Sophie.


Can you f***ing believe?  The Auditor justifies it thusly:

"We've done it six times so far," said Auditor, DEMOCRAT [ed.] Dusty Rhodes. "We've got a pretty hip staff and people are reading things."

His advice: "Keep your dog out of the picture if it's not licensed."

Since when is being an ass "pretty hip"?

Ohio, the Bleeding Heart of it All

May 5, 2008 05:00 PM

Wasn't that our state slogan at some point?  It was something along those lines.  Anyway, here's a story about the late Senator Metzenbaum that brought back fond memories of my grandmother.  How can that be?  Well, my grandmother absolutely despised Howard Metzenbaum.  And this article from the Wall Street Journal would have made her fume all the more:

Former Ohio Senator Howard Metzenbaum, who died in March at age 90, was an ultraliberal as a politician but also a savvy and very rich businessman. Before going to Washington in 1976, he had made a fortune on parking lots.

As a three-term Democrat, he made his reputation in Washington by attacking big business and fighting anything that even hinted of deregulation. His attacks against Clarence Thomas in 1991 prompted a famous retort from the future Supreme Court Justice: "God is my judge, Mr. Metzenbaum, not you."

But we come today not to judge the late Senator, only to praise him for one last act of personal financial acumen. Though a lifelong Ohioan, the Senator moved to Florida in 2002, according to a declaration of domicile filed with the Broward County Clerk's office in 2003. In doing so, he avoided paying his home state's income tax (top rate: 6.55%).

More important as he neared the end of his life, the former Senator also saved his family from paying Ohio's death tax, which features one of the highest state rates (7%) and lowest asset thresholds – $338,333 – in the country. Florida famously has no income or estate tax, which is one reason other than the climate that it is home to so many northern-born retirees.

Howard Metzenbaum thus denied the state in which he lived most of his life a parting financial gift. But he has at least provided the rest of us with a teaching moment in tax policy. If a liberal lion like Metzenbaum is willing to relocate late in life to avoid his state's death tax, maybe living politicians in Ohio will better understand how their confiscatory tax laws are driving its citizens to warmer climes.

Thanks for nothing, Senator.  The only thing that's nice about this is that Clarence Thomas was Senator Metzenbaum's Justice for the last seventeen years, and God is his Judge now.  Everything else makes you want to throw up your hands in despair. 

And speaking of despair: Did you know there are actually business owners in Cincinnati who "live" in Florida, have their families living in Ohio, and who actually go spend the night across the river in Northern Kentucky for X number of nights per year?  You have to be out of the State for enough nights per year to keep the Ohio taxman at bay.  I have clients do it all the time.  Keep your receipts, we tell them.  The government has to know where you sleep at night. 


Breaking economic news from the New York Times: People are being forced to live within their incomes!

May 1, 2008 07:10 AM

My times are bad, aren't they?  Per the NYT:

As real estate prices plunge, so does the ability of homeowners to borrow against the value of their homes, crimping a major artery of spending. As banks grow tighter with their dollars in a period of uncertainty, families are running up against credit limits, forcing many to live within their incomes.

First, what's so bad about people living within their incomes? And second, if these people are up against their credit limits, THEY STOPPING LIVING WITHIN THEIR INCOME A LONG TIME AGO.

Maybe these people aren't the victims?  Maybe they're actually the ones who deserve the blame for the bad economy?